Ragnar eased back to kneel in front of Athelstan again, his hand still on his knee. He just needed to see Athelstan like maybe seeing his face as he spoke would somehow make any of this make more sense.
He didn't argue with Athelstan's claim, though part of him, the stubborn little shit voice in his head wanted to mention Judith and point to Dodger. He was of the opinion that Athelstan would like to believe he didn't want anyone else and maybe, ninety-eight percent of the time, that was true, but sometimes those chance encounters where sparks just flew were difficult to say no to. Ragnar knew Athelstan wouldn't hear it though.
His brow furrowed at Athelstan's reasoning.
"But... Was I not... Have I not been... patient enough with you? Have I not... been showing you thing slowly? Introducing you to more and more?" He opened his mouth again and couldn't help but stop and exhale something almost like a laugh at how absurd all of this seemed, "Athelstan... I knew exactly who you were when... when we started. Why would you think any of that would matter? I did not expect for you to..."
He stopped, pausing, looking down, "If all you ever allowed me to do was... kiss you. Or sleep next to you... It would have been more been more than enough. Because it is you. I wanted you. Not," He shrugged his shoulders, "Sex. I have always just wanted you."
It was a raw truth, Ragnar almost looked nervous, pleading, scared that he'd laid himself so bare, that he'd made himself so vulnerable. But it was Athelstan. And he trusted him. With his life and his heart.
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He didn't argue with Athelstan's claim, though part of him, the stubborn little shit voice in his head wanted to mention Judith and point to Dodger. He was of the opinion that Athelstan would like to believe he didn't want anyone else and maybe, ninety-eight percent of the time, that was true, but sometimes those chance encounters where sparks just flew were difficult to say no to. Ragnar knew Athelstan wouldn't hear it though.
His brow furrowed at Athelstan's reasoning.
"But... Was I not... Have I not been... patient enough with you? Have I not... been showing you thing slowly? Introducing you to more and more?" He opened his mouth again and couldn't help but stop and exhale something almost like a laugh at how absurd all of this seemed, "Athelstan... I knew exactly who you were when... when we started. Why would you think any of that would matter? I did not expect for you to..."
He stopped, pausing, looking down, "If all you ever allowed me to do was... kiss you. Or sleep next to you... It would have been more been more than enough. Because it is you. I wanted you. Not," He shrugged his shoulders, "Sex. I have always just wanted you."
It was a raw truth, Ragnar almost looked nervous, pleading, scared that he'd laid himself so bare, that he'd made himself so vulnerable. But it was Athelstan. And he trusted him. With his life and his heart.