Athelstan didn't look away from Ragnar and at least for now he didn't feel like he was on the verge of crying again. Ragnar often says a lot without always saying very much -- but this time is very different. He stays quiet as Ragnar speaks, waiting until he believes him to be done. He reaches for his hand, holding it in both of his know and then pulling it to his lips.

He exhales softly against his hand, his eyes on Ragnar's face. He loves him so much that he doesn't know what to do with all of it sometimes.

"Ragnar, you... you've been perfect," Athelstan whispers and it's true. Ragnar has been a good friend and a good lover. The things that are wrong are because of Athelstan's own insecurities. It'd never been anything that Ragnar had said or done. "I wanted to be good. I've wanted to be worth it, all the time I made you wait," he whispers, all the time that Ragnar hasn't waited. "I didn't want to disappoint you."

He squeezes Ragnar's hand. "You've had me, Ragnar, even before you've known it. You've had my heart and my soul."

Athelstan lowers his hand. "I'm sorry I'm so foolish," he can't help but apologize despite the last time he had causing arguments. "I've been so afraid that I wouldn't be able to satisfy you and then... with...when I heard Ivar," he tries to explain but it feels a bit unimportant. "I felt like I was not good enough, that I wasn't enough."

He says it in past tense as if the insecurities aren't still there.