Ragnar broke into a humorless smile, scoffing softly.
"We could have very easily killed him, Athelstan," He said dryly, not mentioning the power dampening collar that Ivar had found them.
"I do not know. I hope he did," Ragnar tilted his head a little, eyes narrowing as he studied Athelstan's face. He pushed off the counter, moving closer, putting his hand down on the counter beside Athelstan, in the monk's space, "He has said something to you? What?"
Ragnar backed off a little, eyes still narrowed, watching Athelstan's expression.
"He didn't say anything important. He thought I would want to see what I had caused, asked me if I was proud of myself," Athelstan said and there's a rueful smile. "You can't punish someone who doesn't take responsibility for their actions. He sees himself as a victim and maybe he is not completely wrong."
Athelstan doesn't look directly at Ragnar continuing what he is doing but he doesn't push him away or move away from him again. The anger he feels exhausts him and he's not sure it's really about what Ragnar did or about his own inability to do anything.
"Ragnar, I am not sure I even know why you did it, other than a sense of justice that doesn't translate outside of your world. He doesn't understand our ways," he manages to contradict himself in the way he often does when speaking of the Vikings or of the gods, he is both viking and not viking and it's times like these it's clearer the way he is pulled between two worlds.
"He called me your thing, when he was fucking me, that's what made me tell him to get off of me and this... does not make me look less like your thing. I'm sure he thinks that you did this because he hurt one of your toys."
"'Not completely wrong'?" Ragnar rolled his eyes, "Of course he is. What he did to you was wrong and that is on him alone."
He tapped Athelstan's elbow until the monk met his earnest gaze.
"He needed to be punished, or else he would have learned nothing. And if he still has not learned that there are consequences for what he does to people, then that is his problem. Not mine."
Ragnar again rolled his eyes as Dodger's words came out of Athelstan's mouth.
"If that is what he has to think to justify what he has done to himself, who cares? I do not. Nor should you. You know what you are to me," Ragnar was pretty sure he completely understood why Dodger was lashing out and it actually made him think that they had gotten through to him. Athelstan had come out on top and Dodger was angry, hoping to get a rise out of Athelstan, anything that might make him feel slightly better about getting exactly what he'd deserved.
Athelstan is tempted to argue but he couldn't find it in himself to do so. He had done things that were wrong too but perhaps what had happened is his punishment for them after all. He didn't think in terms of crime and punishment very often.
There's a tired sigh at the tapping and he turns to meet Ragnar's gaze. He feels that Ragnar has missed part of his point but he doesn't inform him of such. He knows how he feels about it but he can't help the sense of dread and anxiety that's been weighing on him since he had spoken with Dodger earlier.
"I know," Athelstan murmurs and he drops the knife again, dropping his hand over Ragnar's gently and squeezing for a moment. "But, I think you are failing to see the grey areas of the world in all of this and that is dangerous with him. And I wish that you had not involved Ivar still."
He hadn't pressed Ragnar to answer about Ivar earlier and he still wouldn't. He lets go of his hand then and gets back to work.
"Grey areas?" He tilted his head to the side, genuinely not following Athelstan, "What do you mean? What is it that you think I have 'missed'?"
Ragnar was willing to listen. It certainly didn't mean he was willing to agree, but he was always willing to listen with an open mind, especially to Athelstan.
And he once again seemed to ignore the fact that Athelstan had brought Ivar up, but the monk had already hit on something that might help him figure it out. It was simple. Very simple. Ragnar had needed help. Athelstan had said it himself, Dodger had godlike powers. Alone, he wasn't so sure he'd have even been able to get in a full conversation without Dodger teleporting away and he certainly wouldn't have been able to actually do anything. Maybe now that he knew about these power canceling collars, but he hadn't. Ivar had told him about those as well.
Athelstan shakes his head. "It doesn't matter," Athelstan says. He's quiet then as he keeps cooking.
"I just wanted to be able to forget that it had happened and now I do not think that will be possible," Athelstan's voice is barely audible at that point, and it's partially an answer and partially a reason.
"Does it not?" He countered, lips pressed into a thin line. There was a weight behind his words, a reminder of what keeping things to himself had resulted in before, but he wasn't going to push it beyond that, annoyed but willing to let it go.
"Yes. I am sure that punishing Dodger for what he did to you will make it so much harder than if I had done nothing at all and he was left thinking that his actions were perfectly acceptable," He snapped, pushing away from the counter and moving to leave the kitchen, heading to the back door to see to the goats.
"You think that that is the end of it, that is what you're not seeing, Ragnar," Athelstan said, louder though he doesn't try to stop the other from leaving if he keeps going. He has dinner to make and Gyda really could be home at any time.
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"We could have very easily killed him, Athelstan," He said dryly, not mentioning the power dampening collar that Ivar had found them.
"I do not know. I hope he did," Ragnar tilted his head a little, eyes narrowing as he studied Athelstan's face. He pushed off the counter, moving closer, putting his hand down on the counter beside Athelstan, in the monk's space, "He has said something to you? What?"
Ragnar backed off a little, eyes still narrowed, watching Athelstan's expression.
"Dodger knows exactly why I did it. As do I."
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Athelstan doesn't look directly at Ragnar continuing what he is doing but he doesn't push him away or move away from him again. The anger he feels exhausts him and he's not sure it's really about what Ragnar did or about his own inability to do anything.
"Ragnar, I am not sure I even know why you did it, other than a sense of justice that doesn't translate outside of your world. He doesn't understand our ways," he manages to contradict himself in the way he often does when speaking of the Vikings or of the gods, he is both viking and not viking and it's times like these it's clearer the way he is pulled between two worlds.
"He called me your thing, when he was fucking me, that's what made me tell him to get off of me and this... does not make me look less like your thing. I'm sure he thinks that you did this because he hurt one of your toys."
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He tapped Athelstan's elbow until the monk met his earnest gaze.
"He needed to be punished, or else he would have learned nothing. And if he still has not learned that there are consequences for what he does to people, then that is his problem. Not mine."
Ragnar again rolled his eyes as Dodger's words came out of Athelstan's mouth.
"If that is what he has to think to justify what he has done to himself, who cares? I do not. Nor should you. You know what you are to me," Ragnar was pretty sure he completely understood why Dodger was lashing out and it actually made him think that they had gotten through to him. Athelstan had come out on top and Dodger was angry, hoping to get a rise out of Athelstan, anything that might make him feel slightly better about getting exactly what he'd deserved.
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There's a tired sigh at the tapping and he turns to meet Ragnar's gaze. He feels that Ragnar has missed part of his point but he doesn't inform him of such. He knows how he feels about it but he can't help the sense of dread and anxiety that's been weighing on him since he had spoken with Dodger earlier.
"I know," Athelstan murmurs and he drops the knife again, dropping his hand over Ragnar's gently and squeezing for a moment. "But, I think you are failing to see the grey areas of the world in all of this and that is dangerous with him. And I wish that you had not involved Ivar still."
He hadn't pressed Ragnar to answer about Ivar earlier and he still wouldn't. He lets go of his hand then and gets back to work.
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Ragnar was willing to listen. It certainly didn't mean he was willing to agree, but he was always willing to listen with an open mind, especially to Athelstan.
And he once again seemed to ignore the fact that Athelstan had brought Ivar up, but the monk had already hit on something that might help him figure it out. It was simple. Very simple. Ragnar had needed help. Athelstan had said it himself, Dodger had godlike powers. Alone, he wasn't so sure he'd have even been able to get in a full conversation without Dodger teleporting away and he certainly wouldn't have been able to actually do anything. Maybe now that he knew about these power canceling collars, but he hadn't. Ivar had told him about those as well.
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"I just wanted to be able to forget that it had happened and now I do not think that will be possible," Athelstan's voice is barely audible at that point, and it's partially an answer and partially a reason.
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"Does it not?" He countered, lips pressed into a thin line. There was a weight behind his words, a reminder of what keeping things to himself had resulted in before, but he wasn't going to push it beyond that, annoyed but willing to let it go.
"Yes. I am sure that punishing Dodger for what he did to you will make it so much harder than if I had done nothing at all and he was left thinking that his actions were perfectly acceptable," He snapped, pushing away from the counter and moving to leave the kitchen, heading to the back door to see to the goats.
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