It's sometime after Dodger's reached out to Athelstan about what Ragnar and Ivar had gotten up to. He's still not sure what to do with the information, though, he's anything but happy about it. He's not made an effort just yet to confront Ragnar and perhaps he wouldn't -- though, the past month is enough to tell that he really shouldn't sit on his feelings.
In any case, he's quietly working away in the kitchen preparing the evening meal. He's mostly running on auto pilot, completely lost in his thoughts.
It was early evening after a day with the perimeter guard when he returned to find Athelstan in the kitchen. Like he often did with Lagertha, he was suddenly hit with an overwhelming sense of love and adoration that he couldn't ignore.
He walked up behind Athelstan, footsteps audible, and slid his arms around the monk's waist and nuzzled into his neck, inhaling as he pressed flush up against him.
"Gyda is not home yet," He mumbled, hand sliding down Athelstan's arm to make him put down whatever he was busy with.
Athelstan isn't paying enough attention to notice Ragnar before he's pressed against him from behind, sparks flying through Athelstan and his stomach butterflies. In normal circumstances he'd have leaned back into him but despite the urge, the enjoyment of the affection he's shrugging Ragnar away from him, pushing his arm when he attempts to stop him mid chopping vegetables.
"I know she is not home yet," he says quietly and he somewhat wishes she was, it would buy him more time.
Ragnar frowned as he was not only ignored but actually shrugged off. It definitely stung.
"So... that means we have a little while," He hummed, speaking slowly as he backed off a little. He tried a different approach, moving his hands to Athelstan's shoulders and massaging him.
"Dinner can wait," He all but purred into Athelstan's ear.
Athelstan's hand stilled where he'd resumed chopping some carrots for the dinner he's making. Unbidden the mental image of Dodger's arm appeared in his mind's eye and he set the knife down. He didn't shrug Ragnar away but simply moved away from him. His ear still tingled and he's tempted to give into him but he can't get Dodger out of his head.
"Why did you do that to Dodger?" Athelstan questions him. "Why was Ivar involved?"
Ragnar sighed in resignation, shoulders drooping. So that's what had Athelstan all prickly at the moment.
Crossing his arms, he leaned back against the counter, giving Athelstan a flat, unenthused look.
"Because I knew you would not," He stated simply, "Dodger needed to learn that what he did was not alright, that there are consequences. You know this as well as I do. We did not kill him, did we?"
"Of course you did not kill him. I already tried that. He's rather difficult to kill," Athelstan exhales, feeling parts humiliated and parts angry and part really wanting to ignore that any of this had ever happened. He doesn't mention that he highly doubts this is the end of it, it rarely is. Cycles of retaliation and punishment continue until everyone is dead.
"Do you think that he learned his lesson, Ragnar?" Athelstan asks before giving the time to talk more. "Or do you think that you've just started a war with him?" Athelstan returns back to preparing the food if only to take out his frustration in some way that was productive. "Sometimes my way, sometimes turning the other cheek is the way that would be better. You did this for you, not me and you should have made sure he knew that."
Ragnar broke into a humorless smile, scoffing softly.
"We could have very easily killed him, Athelstan," He said dryly, not mentioning the power dampening collar that Ivar had found them.
"I do not know. I hope he did," Ragnar tilted his head a little, eyes narrowing as he studied Athelstan's face. He pushed off the counter, moving closer, putting his hand down on the counter beside Athelstan, in the monk's space, "He has said something to you? What?"
Ragnar backed off a little, eyes still narrowed, watching Athelstan's expression.
"He didn't say anything important. He thought I would want to see what I had caused, asked me if I was proud of myself," Athelstan said and there's a rueful smile. "You can't punish someone who doesn't take responsibility for their actions. He sees himself as a victim and maybe he is not completely wrong."
Athelstan doesn't look directly at Ragnar continuing what he is doing but he doesn't push him away or move away from him again. The anger he feels exhausts him and he's not sure it's really about what Ragnar did or about his own inability to do anything.
"Ragnar, I am not sure I even know why you did it, other than a sense of justice that doesn't translate outside of your world. He doesn't understand our ways," he manages to contradict himself in the way he often does when speaking of the Vikings or of the gods, he is both viking and not viking and it's times like these it's clearer the way he is pulled between two worlds.
"He called me your thing, when he was fucking me, that's what made me tell him to get off of me and this... does not make me look less like your thing. I'm sure he thinks that you did this because he hurt one of your toys."
"'Not completely wrong'?" Ragnar rolled his eyes, "Of course he is. What he did to you was wrong and that is on him alone."
He tapped Athelstan's elbow until the monk met his earnest gaze.
"He needed to be punished, or else he would have learned nothing. And if he still has not learned that there are consequences for what he does to people, then that is his problem. Not mine."
Ragnar again rolled his eyes as Dodger's words came out of Athelstan's mouth.
"If that is what he has to think to justify what he has done to himself, who cares? I do not. Nor should you. You know what you are to me," Ragnar was pretty sure he completely understood why Dodger was lashing out and it actually made him think that they had gotten through to him. Athelstan had come out on top and Dodger was angry, hoping to get a rise out of Athelstan, anything that might make him feel slightly better about getting exactly what he'd deserved.
Athelstan is tempted to argue but he couldn't find it in himself to do so. He had done things that were wrong too but perhaps what had happened is his punishment for them after all. He didn't think in terms of crime and punishment very often.
There's a tired sigh at the tapping and he turns to meet Ragnar's gaze. He feels that Ragnar has missed part of his point but he doesn't inform him of such. He knows how he feels about it but he can't help the sense of dread and anxiety that's been weighing on him since he had spoken with Dodger earlier.
"I know," Athelstan murmurs and he drops the knife again, dropping his hand over Ragnar's gently and squeezing for a moment. "But, I think you are failing to see the grey areas of the world in all of this and that is dangerous with him. And I wish that you had not involved Ivar still."
He hadn't pressed Ragnar to answer about Ivar earlier and he still wouldn't. He lets go of his hand then and gets back to work.
"Grey areas?" He tilted his head to the side, genuinely not following Athelstan, "What do you mean? What is it that you think I have 'missed'?"
Ragnar was willing to listen. It certainly didn't mean he was willing to agree, but he was always willing to listen with an open mind, especially to Athelstan.
And he once again seemed to ignore the fact that Athelstan had brought Ivar up, but the monk had already hit on something that might help him figure it out. It was simple. Very simple. Ragnar had needed help. Athelstan had said it himself, Dodger had godlike powers. Alone, he wasn't so sure he'd have even been able to get in a full conversation without Dodger teleporting away and he certainly wouldn't have been able to actually do anything. Maybe now that he knew about these power canceling collars, but he hadn't. Ivar had told him about those as well.
Athelstan shakes his head. "It doesn't matter," Athelstan says. He's quiet then as he keeps cooking.
"I just wanted to be able to forget that it had happened and now I do not think that will be possible," Athelstan's voice is barely audible at that point, and it's partially an answer and partially a reason.
"Does it not?" He countered, lips pressed into a thin line. There was a weight behind his words, a reminder of what keeping things to himself had resulted in before, but he wasn't going to push it beyond that, annoyed but willing to let it go.
"Yes. I am sure that punishing Dodger for what he did to you will make it so much harder than if I had done nothing at all and he was left thinking that his actions were perfectly acceptable," He snapped, pushing away from the counter and moving to leave the kitchen, heading to the back door to see to the goats.
"You think that that is the end of it, that is what you're not seeing, Ragnar," Athelstan said, louder though he doesn't try to stop the other from leaving if he keeps going. He has dinner to make and Gyda really could be home at any time.
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In any case, he's quietly working away in the kitchen preparing the evening meal. He's mostly running on auto pilot, completely lost in his thoughts.
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He walked up behind Athelstan, footsteps audible, and slid his arms around the monk's waist and nuzzled into his neck, inhaling as he pressed flush up against him.
"Gyda is not home yet," He mumbled, hand sliding down Athelstan's arm to make him put down whatever he was busy with.
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"I know she is not home yet," he says quietly and he somewhat wishes she was, it would buy him more time.
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"So... that means we have a little while," He hummed, speaking slowly as he backed off a little. He tried a different approach, moving his hands to Athelstan's shoulders and massaging him.
"Dinner can wait," He all but purred into Athelstan's ear.
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"Why did you do that to Dodger?" Athelstan questions him. "Why was Ivar involved?"
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Crossing his arms, he leaned back against the counter, giving Athelstan a flat, unenthused look.
"Because I knew you would not," He stated simply, "Dodger needed to learn that what he did was not alright, that there are consequences. You know this as well as I do. We did not kill him, did we?"
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"Do you think that he learned his lesson, Ragnar?" Athelstan asks before giving the time to talk more. "Or do you think that you've just started a war with him?" Athelstan returns back to preparing the food if only to take out his frustration in some way that was productive. "Sometimes my way, sometimes turning the other cheek is the way that would be better. You did this for you, not me and you should have made sure he knew that."
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"We could have very easily killed him, Athelstan," He said dryly, not mentioning the power dampening collar that Ivar had found them.
"I do not know. I hope he did," Ragnar tilted his head a little, eyes narrowing as he studied Athelstan's face. He pushed off the counter, moving closer, putting his hand down on the counter beside Athelstan, in the monk's space, "He has said something to you? What?"
Ragnar backed off a little, eyes still narrowed, watching Athelstan's expression.
"Dodger knows exactly why I did it. As do I."
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Athelstan doesn't look directly at Ragnar continuing what he is doing but he doesn't push him away or move away from him again. The anger he feels exhausts him and he's not sure it's really about what Ragnar did or about his own inability to do anything.
"Ragnar, I am not sure I even know why you did it, other than a sense of justice that doesn't translate outside of your world. He doesn't understand our ways," he manages to contradict himself in the way he often does when speaking of the Vikings or of the gods, he is both viking and not viking and it's times like these it's clearer the way he is pulled between two worlds.
"He called me your thing, when he was fucking me, that's what made me tell him to get off of me and this... does not make me look less like your thing. I'm sure he thinks that you did this because he hurt one of your toys."
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He tapped Athelstan's elbow until the monk met his earnest gaze.
"He needed to be punished, or else he would have learned nothing. And if he still has not learned that there are consequences for what he does to people, then that is his problem. Not mine."
Ragnar again rolled his eyes as Dodger's words came out of Athelstan's mouth.
"If that is what he has to think to justify what he has done to himself, who cares? I do not. Nor should you. You know what you are to me," Ragnar was pretty sure he completely understood why Dodger was lashing out and it actually made him think that they had gotten through to him. Athelstan had come out on top and Dodger was angry, hoping to get a rise out of Athelstan, anything that might make him feel slightly better about getting exactly what he'd deserved.
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There's a tired sigh at the tapping and he turns to meet Ragnar's gaze. He feels that Ragnar has missed part of his point but he doesn't inform him of such. He knows how he feels about it but he can't help the sense of dread and anxiety that's been weighing on him since he had spoken with Dodger earlier.
"I know," Athelstan murmurs and he drops the knife again, dropping his hand over Ragnar's gently and squeezing for a moment. "But, I think you are failing to see the grey areas of the world in all of this and that is dangerous with him. And I wish that you had not involved Ivar still."
He hadn't pressed Ragnar to answer about Ivar earlier and he still wouldn't. He lets go of his hand then and gets back to work.
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Ragnar was willing to listen. It certainly didn't mean he was willing to agree, but he was always willing to listen with an open mind, especially to Athelstan.
And he once again seemed to ignore the fact that Athelstan had brought Ivar up, but the monk had already hit on something that might help him figure it out. It was simple. Very simple. Ragnar had needed help. Athelstan had said it himself, Dodger had godlike powers. Alone, he wasn't so sure he'd have even been able to get in a full conversation without Dodger teleporting away and he certainly wouldn't have been able to actually do anything. Maybe now that he knew about these power canceling collars, but he hadn't. Ivar had told him about those as well.
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"I just wanted to be able to forget that it had happened and now I do not think that will be possible," Athelstan's voice is barely audible at that point, and it's partially an answer and partially a reason.
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"Does it not?" He countered, lips pressed into a thin line. There was a weight behind his words, a reminder of what keeping things to himself had resulted in before, but he wasn't going to push it beyond that, annoyed but willing to let it go.
"Yes. I am sure that punishing Dodger for what he did to you will make it so much harder than if I had done nothing at all and he was left thinking that his actions were perfectly acceptable," He snapped, pushing away from the counter and moving to leave the kitchen, heading to the back door to see to the goats.
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